Letter to my Baby Boy

You are my dearly loved son and you bring me great joy ~ Mark 1:11

Well baby boy, we are in the homestretch.  With less than 10 days until my due date, I'm anxiously awaiting your arrival.  For many reasons, everything is different this time around.  I'm progressing faster with you than I did with your big sister and thinking that I may actually experience going into labor naturally as opposed to being induced.  That is exciting and scary at the same time.  I'm at the point where people are surprised to see me at work and offer LOTS of commentary on how I look...what I'm wearing...how I'm walking...you get the point. 

You may find this hard to believe but I wanted you from the moment I met your big sister.  The joy and the love that I felt when I held your big sister for the first time was more than I could have ever imagined.  Those first few weeks after she was born, I kept replaying the moment in my mind because I was afraid I would forget that feeling.  Of course, I was wrong and I have never forgotten that feeling.  And now, I cannot wait to experience it with you.  No matter how hard it would be again to get you here, I knew in my heart that I needed to experience that moment of holding my baby for the first time whatever the cost.

Not like I was keeping track or anything but here's what it took to get you here...

2 successful IVF cycles & 1 miscarriage
52 Lupron injections
232 IM Progesterone injections

Lots of other medications
Countless ultrasounds & blood draws

Love

Patience

Determination

Commitment

Sacrifice
Prayer

Just like your big sister, you are my miracle. I loved you from the moment I saw your embryo on the screen during our embryo transfer.  In that same moment, there was something inside me told me that you'd be a boy.  During the procedure, one of the doctors asked what our first child was but I thought she asked what we would like to have so I answered, "Boy!"  Your dad looked at me like I was crazy.  We had a good laugh after I explained the mistake.  When we got that confirmation a few months later, I smiled and laughed knowing that I knew along.

Just to give you a heads up, you are about to be cast in the role as the little prince of this entire family as soon as you are born.  You will be surrounded by tons of little girls and little girl stuff thanks to your big sister and your 3 cousins.  Don't worry though, we have stocked up on boy stuff so that you will be swaddled in blues, puppy dogs, and sailboats as opposed to pinks, princesses, and flowers.  Your dresser and closet are stocked with stripes, plaids and camo fit for a bouncing baby boy.  We even have a pair of penny loafers so that you can match your dad's preppy style.  We are anxiously awaiting for you and your big sister Eloise to meet.  She has talked about you since the moment we knew you were coming.  She likes to call you "baby brother" and talks about all the things that she will do with you when you are here.  Do me a favor and humor her when she puts a princess tiara or jewelry on you for the first time.  I love being a mom to a girly girl but I can't wait to be a "boy mom" too. Bring on the trucks, trains & whatever else makes you smile!  I'm already a "dance mom" for Eloise but I look forward to being a soccer mom, baseball mom or football mom for you.  If your Dad were writing this, he would say no matter what that I'll be a hunting mom for both you & your sister since I'm already a whitetail widow (aka hunting wife).  

As much fun as it is to think that far ahead into the future, I'm mostly looking forward to our first meeting - whenever that is.  So, I'll just be as patient as I can while I wait for you. I'm going to enjoy these last few days of being pregnant for it truly is an amazing experience.  Not every woman gets to experience what it feels like to have your baby move around inside you or get the hiccups. Honestly, I'm a little sad that those days will be coming to an end.  I'm forever grateful for being able to the experience the miracle of carrying a child.  Thank you for being my second miracle and holding on tight.  See you soon. 

Love, 

Mommy